Goal Setting Doesn’t’ Work!
We all know. It’s that time of year. To set goals for what’s next as we do a sneak peak into the new year that awaits just around the corner.
We all do it, don’t we? We weren’t quite satisfied with the current year so we set our sights on BIG and BOLD and GROWTH and MORE! And now — when we factor in 2020 and Covid — hell — something radically different is definitely going on the goal setting plan.
We set goals. But, the problem is that goals don’t really work. Let me prove it to you. What goals did you set last year about this time? Did you come anywhere close to accomplishing those audacious personal and business goals? Wasn’t 2020 going to be YOUR year? 200% business growth. The best body ever. Meditate daily.
At the beginning of my career I was taught to achieve big successes you had to set big goals. One coach that I paid tens of thousands to over the course of several years said, “Krisstina, to achieve big success you have to set a BHAG — a big hairy audacious goal.” And, so I did. Year after year only to find myself lightyears away from that goal at the end of each December. I would wonder what I did wrong. It must have been because I didn’t work hard enough. Or, I wasn’t smart enough. Or, not focused enough. Something “not enough.” So. What did I do — I set even BIGGER goals for the next year, to make up for what I didn’t accomplish this year. Next year will be MY year. Next will be THE year where I hit those moonshot goals. Next year I will be rich and famous (in my industry). Next year I’ll hit the 8 figures. Next year I’ll finish an ironman. Next year, I’ll…
It wasn’t until I sat on my deathbed, stuck day in and day out in my reflective regretful thoughts that I realized how silly goals are. That my entire life was designed to get “there” and to get “there” as quick as possible! Go after MORE. And, go FASTER. The “there” is “where” it’s at.
My healing journey was a spiritual journey, in disguise. This spiritual purview and profound “me” transforming experience illustrated to me (like words and sentences and pictures being drawn out on a white board right before my eyes) that I was focused on the wrong thing(s). I was focused on the future because I was discontent with the present. Even though my present was pretty damn good! I’d missed the present. I’d missed the journey. I’d missed many beautiful moments because even though my body was right here right now, my mind was always out there working on more.
I’m going to be honest. 2020 for me was fucking hell. This year kicked my ass. As a woman who cries on rare occasion, I found myself breaking down regularly. Oftentimes throughout the year I felt alone. I felt scared. I felt sad. I felt hurt.
I can tell you that if I had set big goals at the end of last year these life events certainly would not have made the list. 2020 would have turned out as one huge disappointment.
YET! This year made a turn for success with a big win that wasn’t expected. I had no goals. But, I knew what I wanted. And, what needed to be done, I went for it. ** Keep reading to see what these successes and wins looked like **
Yep. This year will go down on the books as one of the most difficult of my life. But, I can say it’s also been one of the most rewarding. I learned a lot about me. And as a result, I came to appreciate me even more. I knew this about myself. But this time, at a whole new level. ⇒ I can handle hard. I am resilient as fuck. Like a cat that is thrown off a high ledge, I figure out how to flip over and land solidly on my feet. And, each time I become stronger, smarter (and better) in the process.
Again, I don’t set goals because goals don’t work. According to Forbes, “less than 25% of people actually stay committed to their resolutions after just 30 days, and only 8% accomplish them.”
Why don’t they work? Because they are usually set according to “peer” and “cultural” standards. Or, they are simply pulled out of the sky. They may look/sound something like this:
- “My business and social circle are talking about their 7-figure business. My goal next year is to build a 7-figure business.”
- “My friends are buying X, Y, and Z, my vision board goal is to have X, Y, and Z.”
- “I did X this year so I want to do 25% more next year. “
How are any of these inspirational? Where are they connected to personal growth, spiritual awareness, meaningful experience, relational depth and how about this one → LOVE.
With all of that said, I also don’t go blind into the new year without any thought of what’s happened and what’s to come. Quite the opposite, actually. Each December I designate a day to “reflect.” I find a beautiful and comfortable place outside of my normal environment. I come equipped with a journal. A pen. Sticky Flip Chart Paper. A few colored markers. My 7 F-words Reflection questions workbook. Healthy snacks. And, a portable speaker. I get settled. Then, I spend hours reflecting. I reflect backward. And, I reflect forward.
Side Note: I’ll be doing a deep dive on “Money Manifesting for 2021 — How to Manifest Futures (an Anti-Goal Method)” on December 29th, 2020 during a Campus Lab. If you’re not a member, Become one TODAY!
Casting back in light, mirroring, showing an image-the state of being reflected in this way, careful consideration, a thought occurring in consideration or meditation. A favorable or unfavorable mark or observation.
Reflecting on 2020 …
As I’ve mentioned, it’s been a seriously “challenging” year. And, ironically — it’s also been one of my best years ever! I would say it was the year of being dealt a bunch of sour lemons. Staring at the lemons. Then looking up at Mother U with the thought of ‘Why?” Then hearing her whisper, “you, Krisstina, are up for the “challenge” and the result will be sweet lemonade on the other side. Remember, stay present in each moment. Use your heart and wisdom to navigate the most difficult moments. Look for and soak in the lessons in each hard. Think less and feel more. Keep your faith. I’ve got you.”
Upon hearing her message I connected to my marathon days. Being at the start line with 26.2 tough miles to go. Each week that passed felt like another mile behind me with fewer in front. And this challenging 2020 “run” didn’t come without unexpected injury. And I definitely hit the ‘wall.’ More than once. But, I was in the run to finish and to ‘feel’ every step along the way. And, to come out a more enlightened “runner” with the pride of the accomplishment. And gratitude for everyone and everything that made crossing the finish line possible.
2020 — the lemonade that was made out of the lemons:
- I pivoted my Wealthy Wellthy business. Which included building and launching an entirely new offer (CURBS for Business). At the end of the year, it will be on track for record profitability.
- I pivoted my entire real estate portfolio. I moved into several of my properties (hence the moving 5 times) to do the work required to get them back to profitability. This included 3 remodels. Selling a property and converting long-term leases into short-terms, or vice-versa. Come January 4th, I will have a record year for personal income as a result of all of the “forced” (challenging) reorg.
- I bought a second home (and investment property) in Park City, Utah. I’m still not sure how this came to be. Again, this was nowhere on a vision board. My new place came as a complete surprise after a spontaneous trip to Park City this Fall. And, all of the stars aligned for it to become a reality. Along with some creative deal-making!
- I invested in a new real estate development in Austin. This opportunity fell out of the sky and was also spontaneous. Not to mention, I got to invest with my daughter. She put her own saved money in the deal. So, I had a proud mama moment and got to feel real happiness for being able to do this with my girl as she, at 24, embarks on her wealth journey.
- Airbnb went public. As a Super Host, I was offered the unexpected opportunity to invest in the IPO. I maxed out what I was able to buy through the IPO and put in a little extra. The stock has doubled.
- I started a totally new business (along with two new business partners Mercedes and Macy). Wise Money Consulting and Bookkeeping will be open and ready for business on January 4th, 2021. We already have a good amount of business and we haven’t even opened the doors yet. Let me know if you need bookkeeping services :).
- I experienced a deep spiritual lesson. I learned that I am 100% me even missing a body part. That these bodies really are “meat suits” as one friend likes to call it. We are too hung up on things that really don’t matter and are missing the things that do by being too focused on those elusive comparative “goals.”
- I felt deep gratitude for what I do have. Most especially for all of the love and support that came to me from all directions this year. It was the love and friendship that was the wind beneath my wings when I wasn’t sure I could fly.
- Despite the ‘distancing’, I was able to create new friendships this year and deepen old ones. My heart feels more full than ever before.
- I feel like the luckiest mom in the world. Not only are my children healthy and happy on their own, but I also get to work with both of them. I’ve been working in Wealthy Wellthy with Macy for awhile now. That’s nothing new. But, she is stepping up to take on a bigger role in the business giving me more space to create (like writing long blog posts like this one!). Kael is getting his real estate license and he is working with me in GoodLife Realty. It’s been a crazy year for real estate (my own as well as my clients’), so he’s been able to learn fast — trial by fire. He’s been by my side the entire year and has been an instrumental part of the real estate business pivot. (So, if you need to buy or sell — call Kael! 🙂
- To sum that up. It was an extraordinary year. Personally, absolutely. Professionally. For sure. Relationally, mmhmm. And financially. Although I initially lost a good deal of money due to the Covid upend and found myself in a financially precarious position, I’ll wind up increasing my net worth (personal balance sheet) by a couple of million — as a result of the creative thinking and respective opportunities that were manifested out of the chaos.
That’s some of my reflection backward. All of that without setting one goal. The outcome being far better than any goal I would have set for myself.
Now for the reflection forward. Wait. Isn’t reflection always looking back? Well, yes. And, that’s the practice. Versus setting goals. Instead, look into the future situation you would like to see (and feel) yourself in. Reflect as though it’s already happened and feel what it feels like to be in that reality. It’s not full of stuff. It’s full of experiences and feelings. Hopefully, it’s full of love. Then, set an intention to create such a reality. It’s after that where the art of manifestation goes into full effect starting off the new year. Manifesting is the right blend of “creation of new” and “letting go of attachment to the outcome.” Finally, it’s letting Mother U do her magic alongside you doing your work. No work. No magic.
I’ll be doing this for myself this weekend. Along with my accouterments. I’ll share my 2021 reflection ) on the Anti-Goal Lab I’m leading next week on The Campus.
But some of the biggies so far — imagining and feeling …
- Having written and published my next book [Sam Horn are you listening!?! :)]
- Having attracted my life partner and having fallen in love in the dance of a healthy romantic relationship
- Having lived the summer in Park City
- Having gotten back to (being) optimally healthy
- Having hit my personal income desire connected to the experiences and memories I wish to create (still need to be dreamed up) — which means the businesses hit their revenue and profit targets
- Being settled in one place I call home and loving my daily environment
- Having grown my net worth as a result of the investments I discover during the year
- Having spent time with friends and my kids with plenty of fun and laughter
- Being more deeply connected to the Universe having upped my meditation and having engaged in one or more spiritual retreats.
- Relishing in a bit of ‘easy’ for a while. Where less is more.
This musing has become quite long. So, I’m going to complete here by saying Happy Holidays. As always, thank you for listening/reading/being a part of my life’s work and journey. I invite you to share your highs and lows of 2020. As well as your dreamy reflections of this time next year.